the missing link

we introduced the concept of asexuality in the literature over a decade ago. an online network was created around that time. people gathered online and discussed their lives, their experiences. but we divorced ourselves from any movement and any oppressed community. we remained silent and still very much invisible. yes, we are visible to ourselves, but we aren’t visible to policy- and law-makers, to employers, to our friends and families who desperately hoped we’d marry one day and bring children into their lives. it’s always about them. it seems like it’s never really been about us. but hey wait, it’s not all that depressing. a bunch of researchers also got interested in this topic, wrote dissertations about it (that’s my plan too), but we’ve been struggling so much to conceptualize asexuality, let alone develop a decent theory. yes, a theory. no, thank you, we don’t need your queer theory to explain asexuality. or feminism. hell no! we need a theory of asexuality, a theory that explains our desires (or lack of those), our settings, our interactions, the consequences of our lives, the oppressing forces that don’t let us live freely with out identities, the tools to end this oppression. i mean we could use a bunch of different theories in combination, but that doesn’t quite do the job. maybe it’s still too early to talk about these things, but we can’t abandon the field either. we have to keep building up as much information as possible (if David Jay gave up, we wouldn’t have had a community). we need more sociological research to drive asexuality away from medicalization. i have faith that sociology can do this for us. we don’t need humanities and cultural studies to give us a theory, as that was the case with queer theory and sociology of sexualities. our theory will be born in the minds of sociologists. and i am ready to begin my journey!


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